Values

Which values come to mind when I think of the times in my life where I've been the happiest, the proudest, or the most satisfied? This is sort of hard for me to answer. I suppose this is because for me there's a distinction between values that have made me happy and the ones that are important to me. Maybe this means I've been leading a bit of a dual life... Either way, here are some of them:

      Compassion: 5                                   Integrity: 4
      Creativity: 4                                   Serenity: 4
      Meaningful work: 4                              Truth: 5
      Nature: 4                                       Courage: 4
      Tranquility: 4                                  Romance: 4
      Wisdom: 4                                       Will-Power: 5
      Adventure: (not high enough, whatever it is)    Innocence: 5
      

The last time someone asked for my advice, the topic didn't have anything to do with any of my values, I don't think. (I'm not asked for advice often.)

If there's one value I would single out, it's willful innocence. I think this is because I've always been an idealist who finds it hard to stay idealistic. It's like that line from the Silver Linings Playbook: "The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday." Life can be hard-- so hard that it hardens us. People and experiences can leave us disappointed, bitter, jaded, cynical. Just makes a person want to withdraw to be a Boo Radley-recluse sometimes. And for some reason, we seem wired for the hurt, pain, and disillusionment to linger longer with us than the tender, beautiful, and luminous. Over a lifetime, we can saddle ourselves with prejudices, stereotypes, fears, and all forms of negativity. We can slowly, imperceptibly lose our idealism, hopefulness, joy, openness, imagination. We can lose our innocence. "In increments both measurable and not, our childhood is stolen from us-- not always in one momentous event but often in a series of small robberies which add up to the same loss," wrote John Irving. That's why willful innocence is important to me. Stereotype Threat shows us how our ghostly perceptions can become very real, that the prophecies we believe in can self-fulfill. That's why it's vital for me to stay wide-eyed, hopeful, and optimistic, because that's the world and reality I want to know. "When you were young and your heart was an open book," sang Paul McCartney.

I think the goal of this week's cultural blog post is for a student to reflect on specific values as a means of self-affirmation; self-affirmation reminds us of our self-worth which in turn fights against the influence of Stereotype Threats. Perhaps the idea is that the more actively we define ourselves, the less likely others (or society) can do it for us. As mentioned in another post, I don't think Stereotype Threat has impacted me too much-- thank goodness-- but this activity seems pretty sensible to me.

If I'm feeling down (for whatever reason) at DBC, I will step back and try to regain some perspective on whatever is getting me down. But mainly I will remember past hardships and rough patches, and remind myself that I'm stronger than I think.